“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44)

Notice that Jesus said that we are to love (agape) our enemies. That is, we should love them unconditionally. He is talking about love that is demonstrated not because of how someone treats us, but because we have chosen to love them unconditionally.


Now if we are to love our enemies in such a manner, we should likewise love our spouses in this manner. But she doesn’t respect me…love her anyway! But he doesn’t show me any kind of affection…love him anyway! But he belittles me in public…love him anyway! In no way does this mean that we become doormats, but it does mean that we continue to express love to our spouses in spite of ill treatment.  


The greatest love was demonstrated when we were still sinners, God sent His Son to die for us! (Romans 5:8)


Love is not an emotional feeling – it is a choice that we make. God chose to love us before the foundation of world. We must choose to love our spouses no matter the circumstances. Love is a choice we make. You saw this individual, you chose to talk to that person, you chose to develop a relationship with that person, you choose to continue communicating with that person, you choose to get married to that person, and now you have chosen to stop loving that person. It’s not what they have done it’s what you have done or have chosen not to do. No one can make us stop loving them, we can choose not to love that person, but they can’t make us stop loving them. Love is not a feeling – it’s a decision.

Tavares D. Mathews